Tag Archives: postaday

Weekly Photo Challenge: Lost in the Detail

I went to Perranporth Beach yesterday to scour the cliffs for something inspiring to photograph in response to this challenge. I was a bit confounded by the word, ‘lost’ – there’s plenty of detail everywhere, but I couldn’t pin down anything that could be called ‘lost’ in it. Probably overthinking, as usual. I found some graffiti scratched into the cliff in 1965, and a tiny tunnel with bars over the entrance, but neither were exactly lost:

So I decided that this week’s challenge had stumped me. I went home, dropped the dog off and wandered into Reduth where it was St.Piran’s Day. A friend had suggested I take some photos of the event so they could potentially be used for promotional purposes, so I went off with the intention of taking images of the Cornish bunting, stalls, dignitaries and the miner statue bedecked in its lamb and flag costume.

When I got there, though, I was distracted by a team of drummers (I do hope the real collective noun for drummers is more exciting than that. A throb maybe?) in the centre of town making the most spectacular, hypnotic, entrancing noise. I sat on one of the plinths in the square and watched the drummers and the audience. As ever, my photography finger responds to people more than to anything else and I ended up taking a set of images pretty much entirely focused on the humans of Redruth rather than St. Piran’s Day in general. After I edited them I realised that what I’d done was to get lost in the detail. Duh.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Home

Being my mother’s daughter, aesthetics has always been a big thing for me in terms of home. My mum never feels completely at home in her dwelling place unless she has made it look and feel the way she wants it to. She lives in a lovely Cornish cottage with wobbly cob walls and beams, but her aesthetic is essentially Scandinavian (which makes sense because she is Swedish), and she had been unhappy with her small, dark kitchen for decades – unhappy to the point of wanting to leave the house. But last year, she and dad had an extension built with a new kitchen that fits her need for light and clean lines and now she is incredibly happy in her home. Here’s a picture of it when it was just finished:

parent kitchenAlthough my aesthetic is a more cluttered one than my mum’s, it has always affected how contented I have felt in my dwellings to the point that, even when I have lived in squats, caravans and benders with almost no money at all, I have tried to find ways to make them please my eye, or at least feel like they belong to me in some way.

In the squatting and travelling world most people had next to no money, and all our furniture and possessions were found in skips or given to us or bought from jumble sales, resulting in what could politely be called an ‘eclectic’ style of home decor. Looking at some of these pictures now it seems funny to think that I loved these rooms in one way or another. Today, I would pay a lot of money not to live in them.

The first is a shot of my first home away from home. It is the top room in a three storey squat in Falmouth in the early eighties.

my room 10 quay hillThe carpet, chair, chair cover and bobbly lamp shade were skip finds, and the pictures were either lifted from gigs or torn out of magazines. I can’t remember where the painting came from. It looks like squalor to me now, but I really liked it then.

The next one is also from the eighties. It’s a squat bedroom I had in Hackney, London. I had a thing about purple in those days, and I spent about a week’s food money on paint. There was no B&Q with shelves and shelves of coloured emulsion then, instead you had to go to a specialist paint shop and pay what seemed a LOT of money to have a pot mixed for you if you wanted a colour other than magnolia or white. The effect in this very old and tatty photograph is – as you can see – pretty garish. I think the red wall hanging was made by my grandmother and is now sadly lost.

london squat roomMy second purple room was in a squatted flat on Stamford Hill Estate.

stamford hill estate roomThe next picture is of the inside of a caravan we lived in on some wasteland when son 1 was small. We had no running water, no electricity (hence the tilly lamp), very little money and no toilet, and we used to visit the local tip regularly because in those days you could buy things for a few pence. We glued some hessian wallpaper up and made curtains from some material we found there. The table came from my parents’ house (I think) and I covered the kitchen cupboards with cut out pictures from magazines and books. Again, I wouldn’t want to live in it now, but it felt very much like home in 1992.

caravan united downs

But this post wasn’t supposed to turn into a bemused peer into my domestically cacophonous past – it’s supposed to be about home and personal aesthetics. It was triggered by a visit to the home of a much loved friend yesterday. This friend, T, has fallen in love with a man, R, whose home is now hers too. Their home is one of the most wondrous places I have ever been, partly because it is incredibly rooted in family and regional history, but also because R has such a strong aesthetic that it saturates every corner of the place. His aesthetic is kind of timeless but in parts surprisingly modern; it’s very traditional but also includes elements of eccentricity that prevents it looking like every other envy-inspiring home in Country Living magazine. Here are some photos.

R and T’s home knocks me for six every time. I find it almost impossibly beautiful, and my friend H and I regard it as a very special treat to visit. Yesterday, however, this wondrous place struck me as even more of a home than ever before. The air had shifted in some way, and it took me a while to realise that of course this was because there has been a new addition to the place – one that brings with it mess and chaos and the need for an occasional plastic object. Here it is:

Seeing how this unutterably lovely little bundle of disruption has affected this place, I realised that although I’ve yearned most of my life for a home I find aesthetically pleasing (and have now finally got one that’s almost there), it’s not the aesthetics after all that actually make the home.

In fact, the times when home feels most homely are when our aesthetics are being disrupted: when we have Christmas in mum’s perfect kitchen and there are people and dogs and mess everywhere; when an otherwise tastefully decorated Christmas tree is hung with odd lumps of paper and glue made by a child’s hands; when there’s a curled up cat and all his cat hairs rumpling up the sofa cushions; when spouse puts a Darth Vader head he found in a skip on the bookshelf next to my tasteful antique map of Cornwall. A home that is TOO visually beautiful can feel a bit intimidating, and I have visited people’s houses in the past that have given me hideous inferiority complexes. Aesthetics will always be important to me because I’m a visual person, but I’m not looking for perfection any more. Perhaps I can put up with the flimsy fake brass door handles I inherited with this house after all.

carlisle_brass_fg27_georgian_shapped_lock_handle

P.s. If you would like to experience the joy of visiting R&T’s house, they offer various types of accomodation at various times of year. Please see their website for further details.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Unique

UNIQUE. That’s a difficult one.

If I’m honest, I’m with Chuck Palahniuk when he has Tyler Durden say,

“You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else, and we are all part of the same compost pile.”

I may not have put it quite as grimly as that, but still, my instinct is that ‘unique’ is pretty much impossible when we’re all made up of the same basic ingredients.

So I left the word rattling around in my brainhole for a day or so while I did the hoovering, sorted the socks, cooked spaghetti bolognese, cut my toenails and other notably un-unique activities – and then my mum’s voice appeared in my idea vacuum saying that exact word – ‘unique’. She has used it on more than one occasion, I remembered, to describe my spouse and why we have managed to stay together for so many years. And lo! I thought about it and saw that it was so. If there’s anyone in the world I could describe as unique, it is definitely him.

Which is ironic since he entirely agrees with Tyler Durden’s sentiment on uniqueness, and most certainly would have put it in such a grim way. He has specifically asked to just be chucked on a compost heap when he dies. I think that may be against the law.

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Weekly Photo Challenge: Love (and more words than there should be)

We’re not a family that talks about love much. That doesn’t mean we don’t feel it – not at all – just that declarations of love can seem a bit insincere to our oh-so-British ears. This is particularly so when the word ‘love’ is flung about a lot in a relationship. To us it has impact only when used sparingly; anything else smacks of insecurity to our cynical ears.

So when son 2 was born and turned out to be a little package of enthusiastic and unabashed love it was a bit of a revelation; we were used to our more reserved toddler who really only wanted cuddles when he was sad or ill, and even then accepted them graciously rather than actively engaging with them like son 2 did. It has always been very easy to give love to our second son because he was born with a nature that invited it. It is harder to be sure that son 1 knows he is loved because he has become more and more detached from us as he has grown up.

Son 1 had a more difficult time growing up than son 2. When he was born we lived in a caravan on a traveller’s site with no running water, no electricity, no sanitation and drunk people all around. I was too immature of mind to deal well with my new responsibility and knew little or nothing of the psychology of children. I became post-natally depressed and if it wasn’t for my spouse, things could have been a disaster. He faced responsibility with determination, compassion and even a little joy. He got up and did the night feeds and woke me up for the morning feeds by singing along to cheerful songs on the radio and handing me a cup of tea.

We loved son 1 tremendously, but we weren’t the finest of all parents. We were very poor, we didn’t know what we were doing and we were tired and stressed much of the time. It wasn’t the best start for a sensitive young boy, regardless of how much we adored him. We made a lot of mistakes. When we moved into a house and son 1 went to playgroup and then primary school, he was only too aware of our difference from other parents. We were still big-booted, pierced and grubby and we didn’t have fitted kitchens or smart cars. He felt this acutely, but rarely said anything about it; he instead spent his time with other families who were more securely rooted in the ‘conventional’ lifestyle that he preferred.

Our son is now 21 and at university. He is independent, clever, witty and stylish and we are incredibly proud of him. When I think of him, however, I am always a little sad because he remains quite detached. It’s nothing serious or terrible, but he wouldn’t choose to spend time with us; he doesn’t really know what to talk to us about and he resists engaging with our interests and humour. Having son 2 has shown me what a parent/child relationship can be and at the moment I don’t have this with my firstborn. It saddens me to my stomach that he was the one who had to suffer the brunt of my parenting mistakes and that son 2 received all the benefits of what we learned from them.

But, son 1 does phone us when he has a problem and he did turn to me when he had his heart broken. I take solace from this and have a secret fantasy that one day, when he has children of his own, he might understand. In my fantasy, he is a famous fashion designer or journalist or publicist or something, and he’s on Desert Island Discs. He chooses a record that has something to do with his childhood and he says, ‘I was a very different person from my parents, but I realise now how much they loved me.’

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Weekly Photo Challenge: Resolved

This week’s photo challenge is another difficult one… I haven’t consciously made any new year’s resolutions because I don’t need any more excuses to feel like someone who never finishes what she starts. Not excuses – reasons. The reason I feel like someone who never finishes what she starts is because I frequently don’t finish what I start.

I could resolve to lose this extra stone, to stop procrastinating, to do some exercise, to start my business, to hoover more often, to give lollipops to passing children, to buy something from local businesses each week (although I don’t know what I’d buy from Barbs lil *shop* which only sells the following items):

barbBut none of those resolutions move me enough to actually try to keep them, so there was no obvious answer to what I could post for the ‘Resolved’ challenge. That is, until we found some lovely drifted bricks on Porthluney beach today (I’m not lying – the beach is effectively called Porth Loony). Driftbricks. I’m not sure how they got there… I wonder if someone’s whole house floated out to sea in the recent floods.

The bits of old building were so appealing that I collected them into a pile and spouse (who always fancied a job working for Lego) built a small village. Here it is:

Walking back to the car afterwards, we noticed that there were other little piles of rocks dotted around the beach; clearly we weren’t the only ones moved to try to create something in the rain.  “Humans” spouse said, “can’t stop building things.” That’s a splendid thing about humans, I thought. And then I realised I have made a sort of resolution for this year; I’ve just done it semi-unconsciously. I’ve changed my job to one that should enable me to be more creative in my work, but also should free me up to be more creative in everyday life.

So my resolution is MAKE MORE STUFF. And this little New Year Driftvillage is a representation of that.

Weekly Photo Challenge: My 2012

This has been an interesting photo challenge. Interesting for me, that is, not you, my poor visitor. It can’t be very interesting for you to have to sit through people-you-don’t-know’s years. Especially since people tend only to take photos of the things that make them seem shiny.

It was interesting to me though because, before I did this, if someone had asked me, “how was your 2012?” I would have said, “Totally shite. Bloody awful. One of my worst years ever.” And yet, when I looked through my photos I found that there have been brilliant things in every single month of the year. Properly brilliant things – ones that made my heart sing happy songs – even though in the background I was in the throes of work-based misery. Of course, photos are a massive edit of your life – you don’t take pictures of yourself crying for days on a sofa or going to a funeral, etc. But even so – the fact that I was able to produce such a happy set of edited highlights shows there were some very highlighty highlights.

There’s a lesson in this. Something to do with the ways we view the world, etc. I won’t write it here in case it gets all fridge magnety.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Delicate

Not being a very delicate-minded person myself, I thought I wasn’t going to be able to do this challenge. Then I found myself at Heartlands half way through a dog walk and encountered a group of delighted children being sprayed with foam from a fake-snow machine. I liked this little girl in particular with her delicate hand investigating the snow. I have no idea why I failed to focus the damn pictures properly. I think it might be my middle aged eyes.

Two days later, again on a dog walk, I was with spouse in Tehidy Woods admiring the glorious trees and sundry other winter delights:

We sat under a tree for a while so brown spaniel could dig a massive trench, and were joined by a little round robin who spent 20 minutes strolling around us eating worms from our hands. There’s a Cornish superstition, apparently, that a friendly robin is a visit from a dead loved one, but none of my dead relatives as far as I know were so keen on eating worms. Anyway, here is the robin with his delicate wings and tiny cute robiny feet.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Changing Seasons

This challenge has taught me a surprise thing about myself: I take a lot of photos of feet.

I discovered this when I went in search of some Autumnal photos from a walk some weeks ago and found a set of images of my bewellingtoned feet on a flooded path. Then I remembered I’d also taken some of my pudgy hobbit feet in some pound shop flip flops on another walk earlier in the year. When I went searching the folders for them I kept stumbling on various other feet and realised that feet are very good at expressing the changes of seasons. Bingo.

 

Weekly Photo Challenge: Reflections

I found this week’s inspiration word, ‘reflections’ oddly difficult, probably because I was trying to be too clever. I wanted my contribution to say something all deep and meaningful about the human condition and stuff like that. Then I remembered that botched or clichéd attempts at profundity often trigger my sarcasm mode / vomit reflex, so it would be stupid to risk inducing that response in others. So I decided to post some pictures I took just because I quite like them. Trouble is, my favourite reflection pic is one I already posted here. But still, here it is again.
love yourself and watch 2This pic was taken in a derelict brewery in Cornwall and I love it because of the self-help/sinister quality of the graffiti.

The next two grubby reflections are urban pics as well, taken in Cardiff. My favourite is the first one because the distorted reflection makes the tower block look as if it’s peering back at the camera.

reflection 2reflection

Another building next, this time in Cornwall. This was taken in St. Ives, and I am the only person who has ever liked this picture. Since it’s my blog, though, I am allowed to include it.

round window

The final two are more conventional Cornish reflections. They don’t say anything profound about the nature of the universe, but they’re reasonably pretty, so.

boat reflection 2-pola

surf boy B&W